مشاهدة النسخة كاملة : Programmer Jokes :D
Two bytes meet. The first byte asks, “Are you ill?”
The second byte replies, “No, just feeling a bit off.”
Eight bytes walk into a bar. The bartender asks, “Can I get you anything?”
“Yeah,” reply the bytes. “Make us a double.”
Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
Because Oct 31 equals Dec 25.
There are only 10 kinds of people in this world: those who know binary and those who don’t.
A programmer walks to the butcher shop and buys a kilo of meat. An hour later he comes back upset that the butcher shortchanged him by 24 grams.
A man is smoking a cigarette and blowing smoke rings into the air. His girlfriend becomes irritated with the smoke and says, “Can’t you see the warning on the cigarette pack? Smoking is hazardous to your health!”
To which the man replies, “I am a programmer. We don’t worry about warnings; we only worry about errors.”
A programmer is walking along a beach and finds a lamp. He rubs the lamp, and a genie appears. “I am the most powerful genie in the world. I can grant you any wish, but only one wish.”
The programmer pulls out a map, points to it and says, “I’d want peace in the Middle East.”
The genie responds, “Gee, I don’t know. Those people have been fighting for millennia. I can do just about anything, but this is likely beyond my limits.”
The programmer then says, “Well, I am a programmer, and my programs have lots of users. Please make all my users satisfied with my software and let them ask for sensible changes.”
At which point the genie responds, “Um, let me see that map again.”
CIA – Computer Industry Acronyms
WINDOWS: Will Install Needless Data On Whole System
OS/2: Obsolete Soon, Too
PnP: Plug and Pray
IBM: I Blame Microsoft
MICROSOFT: Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers
When a computer professor asked his students to comment all their programs, he got remarks like:
"This program is very nice"
"This program is very difficult"
"This program is very interesting"
When a teacher punishes a young programmer
Why computers are like women
No one but the Creator understands their internal logic
The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else
Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval
As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it